Bullying FActs

Bullying Facts is all about giving parents a place to start so you can understand the who, what, why and when of Bullying. It will give you the ability to better understand the issue and what your child might be experiencing.

THE WHAT: Bullying Definition

The first place to start is with a definition. Bullying for our purposes involves only our child, tween, teen and occurs outside of our homes whether as the Bully or Bully Victim. There are many other instances of bullying but to keep it simple this is a good starting place.

“Any Actions that hurt either physically or emotionally or are perceived by the intended target as hurtful. Done repeatedly over time by one or more people directed at another person who has less power.”

THe WHO: Is your child involved?

I lead with this as I understand for many of us parents this is the crux. We have a lot to deal with as parents if Bullying is an issue for your child you want to know and help them:

Is my child being bullied?

Is my child a being a bully?

Bullying does not happen in a vacuum. There are lots of circumstances that determine who will become a bully and who will become a target.

BULLYING STATISTICS

I have real difficulty with some of the available Bullying Statistics because I don’t know if the children being questioned have been educated or prepared in some way...Were they told it was confidential and they would not get in trouble. Do they think they had an argument with their bestie and she called them a name…And that is bullying? I know my 9 year old thinks this way.

Beware of any statistics you read and understand they can be biased to bolster up an opinion with a simple twist

The How: TYpes of Bullying

There are 4 types of Bullying. Each has it's own cruelty but the fastest rising is cyber bullying.

1. Verbal Bullying: Is the most common and easiest to hide or misconstrue… Was that just a joke or was it meant to hurt?

2. Social/Relational Bullying: Is often the most complicated, hardest to detect and most cruel.

3. Physical Bullying: This is the most visible and easiest to identify. It has traditionally defined what bullying is all about

4. Cyber Bullying: Cyber Bullying is technology and social media based.

The Where: Bullying happens everywhere

Unfortunately, bullying happens everywhere. At school, the mall, parties and other social situations and thanks to technology it can happen right in your child's bedroom.

Effects of bullying

The effects of Bullying can impact everyone—those who are targeted, those who bully, and those who see it happening.

It is linked to many problems with depression and lowered self esteem, alcohol, drug use and bullycide. This is not about having a bad day at school...Bullying can effect our children for the rest of their lives.

It is important to talk to kids. As parents we need to learn to listen and engage our children to determine whether bullying—or something else—is a concern.

The when: How often??

Bullying may happen multiple times a day or once a week or month. It depends on the level of bullying.

Bullying levels

To assist in deciding the most appropriate solutions I have developed the 3 levels of bullying. Keep in mind, I believe the bullying issue requires our attention regardless of what level.

Level One: Generally starts with Verbal taunting or anonymous cyberbullying.  It happens infrequently maybe once or twice a week  and has been occurring from to 6-8 weeks.

Level Two: Generally a combines 2 types or more. Perhaps verbal bullying has escalated and the bully is now physically pushing your child etc. OR the anonymous cyber bullying has increased and bullies are isolating your daughter on the playground. It happens multiple times a week  over 2 to 4 months period.

Level Three: Multiple types of bullying. Bullying is now occurring daily or multiple times a day  and has been happening for more than 4 months.

The WHY

Bullying happens for a multitude of reasons.

All children are simply trying to meet their needs. How they do this, how they are being parented and many other circumstances come in to play when considering why a specific child was chosen to be bullied or why a certain child becomes a bully.

More THAN bullying facts:

Understanding bullying is a key step before we can take action. It is about so much more than just the facts. I believe the lack of action about this issue is because we don’t really understand it fully.

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